BREAKUPS AT WORK: MANAGE YOUR EMOTIONS AND STAY EFFECTIVE
Ever had to go to work after being dumped or signing your divorce papers. It sucks! You have no time to be in your feelings or listen to songs that help you cry because you still have to do your job. The worst part is that the world carries on as if your heart hasn’t just been broken! Since you can’t use up your sick days to nurse your broken heart, how do you resume work and stay focused? I’m Nike Folagbade, a life coach and therapist who has helped many broken hearts mend and even survived my own heartbreak. Here are some tips you can use to heal and not lose your job after a breakup: Don’t deny your pain This is the first place to start. Don’t try to drink, eat or curse away your pain. Accept that it has happened but you will get through it. This will help you to process the experience better. It is okay to cry, so hold a lot of tissue and excuse yourself to have private grieving moments. Change your perception This is not the time to wallow in past mistakes. Don’t dwell on blaming yourself or your ex. Focus on having a healthy outlook. If your ex is at fault, accept that you can’t change them. If you bear some of the responsibility, focus on forgiving yourself and moving on. Take your lessons and focus on building stronger relationships in the future. Stay in a circle of positive and funny people When you are in the office, pay attention to other colleagues who make you smile and help you forget your break up. Spend some time with them during your break time and laugh away your pain by getting involved. Find someone you feel safe with to talk to Silence never helped anyone. When you need to let things out, speak to a mature friend around you or over the phone. You can also connect quickly with a therapist online, prioritising your mental health is self love. If you are not ready to talk about it, let your manager know you are going through something personal. Watch something funny between your breaks It’s very tempting to immerse yourself in sadness after a breakup. However, continued misery will not give you the energy you need to be effective at work. Higher dopamine levels have been associated with happiness. Spend a few minutes in the office watching a funny skit on your phone. Laughing helps increase your dopamine levels which will boost your mood and energy for work Write down your thoughts Whether you keep a journal, use a notepad or app on your phone, write down your thoughts. Having an outlet for your emotions is an important part of healing that will help you quickly deal and keep you focused on reaching your goals. Ultimately, you have to believe that there’s a better future, give yourself some time to heal gradually. While you might feel that the hurt will last forever, it won’t. Focus on building a future that is brighter, get some rest and engage in activities that make you feel alive again.
MUST-READ: 5 THINGS YOU SHOULD STOP NOW FOR YOUR SANITY
We’re not halfway into the year yet and it seems like the world has gone insane. Between the locust invasion in East Africa, Coronavirus spreading rapidly across the world and climate change, it’s easy to be anxious and stressed. If you are looking to reduce stress, here are a few things you should consider letting go of for your own sanity. GET THE NEWS YOU NEED TO KNOW SENT TO YOUR INBOX 1. Dwelling on the past Moving on can be difficult, especially if you are holding on to something that cuts deep down. However, holding on to hurt will not help you heal or change the past. It’s better to focus on what you can change – yourself. Your past doesn’t define you. Treat your mistakes are lessons and use them to grow. How do you move on? Accept that whatever happened can’t be changed, forgive yourself and others and grow from the experience. 2. Social media comparison It’s not a myth that social media can affect your mental health. In a world of curated perfection, it’s easy to constantly feel anxious. Be thankful for how far you’ve gone and work to ensure that many doors of opportunities open for me. 3. Over-Scheduling If you are taking on so much that you feel like you are stretching yourself beyond your limits, you might be suffering from ‘yes’ syndrome. Constantly saying “yes” without thinking or checking whether things fit with your goals is unhealthy. It’ll leave you constantly busy with little productivity. To break this habit, focus on your priorities. To check yourself, here are a few questions to ask yourself before you say yes: Will it stop me from having time for me? Am I saying “yes” because I feel bad or guilty? Will saying “yes” delay me or lead me closer to my goals? Am I automatically saying “yes” without thinking about it? Will saying “yes” stop me from relaxing, having fun and spending quality time with family and friends? 4. Not auditing my circle While forming relationships is important, you need to manage your inner circle personally and professionally. For instance, if you have close friends who don’t support and push you to become the best version of yourself, it’s time to take a look and ask – “Who am I associating myself with?” Whether you are networking up, down or sideways, always focus on maintaining relationships that build you up. 5. Not practicing self-care Even computers need sleep. Even the most effective systems in the world need a rest period. The human body works the same way. When you push your body to its limits without getting rest, there are very serious health consequences – I’ve been there. If you are running a chaotic schedule, integrate breaks into your schedule, book regular checkups with your doctor to hold yourself accountable, and make time to do the things you enjoy. Join a class of ambitious women who are networking and learning how to grow their careers. Sign up for the Motherland Mogul Insider program.
6 Reasons Entrepreneurs are Vulnerable to Mental Health Issues
Entrepreneurs are known to possess specific skills that fuel their desires to start, manage, and succeed in a business venture. These traits, however, are also being seen as contributing negatively to their mental health at a given time in their lifetime. Recent investigations indicate that entrepreneurs are more likely to suffer mental illness. According to Michael Freeman, a psychiatrist, psychologist, and former CEO, entrepreneurs are 50 percent more probable to report having a mental health breakdown, with some particular conditions being more prevalent among founders. In a recent study, Dr. Freeman observed that up to 72 percent of entrepreneurs surveyed self-reported mental health issues. The findings from the research indicate that entrepreneurs are: Twice as likely to suffer from depression Six times more likely to suffer from Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) Three times more likely to suffer from substance abuse 10 times more likely to suffer from bipolar disorder Twice as likely to have a psychiatric hospitalization Twice as likely to have suicidal thoughts Let’s talk about Mental Health According to the World Health Organization (WHO), mental health is not merely the absence of mental health challenges. It is the “state of well-being in which every individual realizes his or her own potential, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to her or his community”. Also known as mental well-being (MWB), mental health, which is traditionally studied in medicine, psychology, and public health, is increasingly gaining attention in other disciplines as well. Scientists, psychologists, economists, management experts among many other experts are taking an interest in the mental health issues of entrepreneurs. The experts have concluded that mental disorders are not only common but may, in fact, fuel the entrepreneurial spirit. According to Michael Freeman – executive coach to entrepreneurs and clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of California-San Francisco School of Medicine… “Mental health conditions are accompanied by positive traits that enable entrepreneurs to excel.” Take ADHD, a condition that research suggests is more prominent among entrepreneurial types. “If you have ADHD, two of the positive traits are a need for speed and an interest in exploration and recognizing opportunities,” he says. “[you have] an ability to act without getting stuck with analysis paralysis.” Entrepreneurs are recognized as contributing to economic growth, innovation, and job creation across the world. They do so by identifying and addressing the needs in a particular market. The late Steve Jobs referring to entrepreneurs said, “People who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.” In the midst of stiff competition and many challenges, entrepreneurs have to employ strict and strategic measures to remain in business. By so doing, these business-oriented individuals often neglect their wellbeing in a bid to grow their ventures. Although in the past, entrepreneurs’ mental health has not received much attention, recently, leaders across the world have begun discussing mental health issues to create awareness on the matter. Earlier this year at the World Economic Forum meeting in Davos. World leaders including the UK’s Prince William, CEO of HSBC, among others, shed light on mental health problems in a therapeutic and non-stigmatic way. The mental health crisis in start-ups With such alarming and scary statistics, the question is: why are entrepreneurs more likely to experience mental health issues? Speaking from his Nairobi office, director of Consulting and Training at People Centric Management Company, Ken Munyua shared with us insights on the following seven areas that make entrepreneurs more susceptible to mental problems. 1. Fear of failure/uncertainty “Fear of failure has crippled many people even before trying,” observes Munyua. Uncertainty and anxiety contribute negatively to our mental well-being. With so much competition, uncertainty is ever a looming phenomenon among entrepreneurs. Remaining positive and pressing on in the time of our powerlessness should be the ultimate goal for any businessman/woman. “Get out there and try; if it does not work, use the experience to improve on your next venture, Munyua advises.” 2. Social isolation Incognizant of how they contribute to mental problems, those close to the entrepreneurs can create a social gap through alienation. While entrepreneurs are excited about the new venture, often, the society including friends and family fail to offer the needed support. Choosing to the non-traditional path can bring about social isolation as one focuses all energy and time into succeeding in the business. 3. Stress Munyua notes that in the formative stage, in particular, entrepreneurs require more time to start and ensure the business survives. During this time, many people in business are pressed hard in managing both business and social life. Over time, the stress leads to sleepless nights, overworking, and lack of appetite or skipping meals due to work and the problems keep spilling over, which can lead to depression if the stress is not addressed well on time. 4. Impression management One thing that entrepreneurs do well is acting like everything is working even at the edge of failure. By creating this facade, entrepreneurs do not seek help even when they need it as they do not want to appear weak. This disconnect between personal experiences, and what they share with the public creates insecurity, and a sense of confusion, further leading to stress, and consequently depression. 5. Inadequate resources to address mental health Mental health resources in entrepreneurship, as is the case in other fields, receive little or no support. As organizations and firms come together to fund and support budding as well as existing entrepreneurs, factors such as mental wellbeing of the businessmen and women should be factored into the budget. 6. Too many expectations Munyua observes that Carl Rodgers, a renowned psychologist, warns that human beings are disturbed when expectations are not met. “Always hope for the best but prepare for the worst,” Munyua adds. Our mantra should be “expect nothing, and be prepared for anything,” as the saying by the Samurai of ancient Japan goes. We should
Botswana’s Healing Guru
Mother Masire is a graduate of The University of Botswana, with a BA in Social Sciences, majoring in Sociology and Public Administration. She also did a number of developmental courses including brand and project management to support her marketing and advertising career. As one who is always willing to learn when interested in a subject matter she studied mindfulness over 10 years through online courses, attending seminars, workshops, training retreats etc. Her interest in mindfulness and its benefits grew over the years, so when Dr. Didi Bjorn approached her with the idea to start a sustainable development social enterprise, she jumped at the opportunity, and AfroBotho was born. AfroBotho is a skill-sharing service that fosters mental health and wellness for individuals, organizations, and communities in Africa and the world. Connect with Mother Masire and her business on her website and social media We believe if we are at our best emotionally and mentally we do the best for ourselves and families, workplace, communities, and our world. Why did you decide that there was a need for an organization like AfroBotho? The name AfroBotho was inspired by the African concept of Botho, a social contract of mutual respect, responsibility and accountability that members of society have towards each other. It defines a process for earning respect by first giving it, and to gain empowerment by empowering others. It is all about interconnectedness amongst all people with the realization that ‘I am because you are’. AfroBotho was the brainchild of Dr. Didi Bjorn. She felt that we had an aligned passion for issues of mental and emotional wellbeing and that with the combination of our skills we would be able to add value to our clients’ wellbeing. Dr. Didi Bjorn is a clinical psychologist with a specialization in Disaster Psychology from the University of South Dakota. It was there that she gained expertise in various disaster response and management techniques. During her college years, Didi volunteered at the American Red Cross and later participated in the disaster response following the September 11 World Trade Centre attacks. All those experiences prepared her for AfroBotho, where she seeks to extend all she learned by becoming a Botho Ambassador, healing and reconnecting humanity. As an ambitious, young career-driven Motswana I lived a very busy, unbalanced life when I was employed in corporate environments. Throughout my career I often found myself being the ‘default counselor’ for organizations I worked for. This was heavy for me because I was not a skilled psychologist, and got attached to what was shared with me. I wished for a retreat center within our country that would provide a safe healing space for those seeking reprieve and time out to reconnect with themselves. Dr. Didi Bjorn and I wanted to be the change we wished to see and started AfroBotho in order to share skills that empower people to find peace and harmonious interactions among each other. What are the benefits of mindfulness, and how is it beneficial in the workplace? Mindfulness is ‘present-focused consciousness’, a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, bodily sensations, and the environment without judgment. It’s a state of awareness. Jon Kabat Zinn defines mindfulness as: “Paying attention; on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally. There are many overlaps between mindfulness and aspects of positive psychology as it applies to cognitive-behavioral therapies. In some of our training, we call ourselves ‘the why and how team’. Dr. Bjorn usually shares WHY people go through the emotions and mental challenges they experience and I share HOW they can access their personal grounding and calmness while they are going through them. Mindfulness can help to reduce stress, anxiety, and conflict, increase resilience and emotional intelligence while improving communication in the workplace. For leaders who are contemplating different strategies to help foster a healthier, happier and more productive workplace, I suggest that they incorporate mindfulness in their organizational culture. Some of the numerous benefits of mindfulness include; a more effective management style, creating a more positive work environment, stronger, healthier team dynamics, better manager-employee relationships, fewer rash decisions that can damage the business, and healthier strategies for preventing or addressing conflict when it comes up. According to a study conducted by The European Agency for Safety and Health at Work, more than half of the 550 million working days lost every year from absenteeism are stress-related. Further, 80 percent of employees report that they feel stress at work and need help learning how to manage it. What do your workshops/sessions entail? The way we work with our clients is not etched in stone. We are solution-based in our approach and always strive to get to the root cause of a problem before we even design a program. Each client program is personally designed for them. We believe you cannot prescribe without first identifying the challenge/issue. We have a program called ‘The pulse check’ which we usually start with before beginning any program. This is an exercise that helps individuals to look at their challenge from the inside out. The purpose thereof is to get a deep and clear understanding of our clients’ mental and emotional wellbeing. Once feelings and expressions of negativity have been clearly identified, we work together to actively begin the work of uprooting these often deeply embedded productivity killers. As the termination of the vicious cycle of blame, attack, and accusations toward self and others, as well as the need to constantly live in defence-mode, occurs and is replaced by an all-round healthier and balanced sense of being, they can be – and are – empowered to channel that positivity into their professional life and workplace. After the ‘pulse check,’ we start on a program that addresses the client’s desired objective. What is the future of the workplace, and what role does AfroBotho play in realizing it? The workplace environment as we know is evolving, just like every other aspect of our lives.
6 ways to tone down your stress levels
It is not uncommon to see someone you know, perhaps your friend, a family member, or a colleague whose demeanor is looking unusual, and you show concern by asking the question: ‘why is your appearance looking so dull today?’ and their reply goes ‘it is stress’. Recently, I attended a meetup where young women discussed ‘creating balance’. In the heat of the discussion, one woman mentioned that she was on an official assignment to a psychiatric ward and found that the leading cause of psychosis in women admitted was stress. I was both alarmed and pained. The term stress seems to be something everyone takes for granted but its effect on our physical, emotional and mental well-being is often disastrous. More women than men are prone to stress partly because besides the everyday hustle to support the family income is the added responsibility of taking care of the home front. Many studies have confirmed that stress could lead to deli-bating diseases like high blood pressure (which is constantly on the rise in recent times), heart attack, nervous breakdown, and many others. Hence, there is an urgent need for us to take the matter of stress very seriously. [bctt tweet=”On the scale of 1 – 10, how high is your stress levels? @awunliwomanup highlight 6 ways to manage stress. Read more…” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Stress cannot be eliminated completely, however, here are six ways to manage it. KNOW WHEN TO LEAVE WORK BEHIND Some women are naturally workaholics, while others are in the hustle just to outdo their contemporaries in terms of material acquisition. Whichever end of the divide you find yourself, be kind to your health and long term well being, you have to know when to stop. LEARN HOW TO RELAX Some people know when to unwind after a hard days job while some people see it as unnecessary. For example, I have a friend who stays glued to his laptop watching one series or the other after work and I get so angry until he explained that it was one of the ways he cools off after a hard days job. Whatever works for you, make sure you go for it. STRIVE FOR BALANCE It has been emphasized more often than not that being busy does not translate into being productive. To increase your productivity, prioritize your activities and determine when you have reached your limit. ASK FOR HELP This is especially for those who have the perfectionist syndrome. They believe no one can do it the way they can. Sister, if anything happens to you, there will be someone else who will do the job better than you, so put your health first. Leave those things you can delegate to someone else at work, outsource some tasks if you can afford it, and ask family members and friends to help out as a way of reducing your workload. PLAN AND PREPARE AHEAD We all know how what last-minute tension feels like. you begin to sweat profusely, you get jittery all over. To avoid this kind of scenario, do things well ahead of time. LET GO OF WORRY I have a friend who says worry is her recipe for losing weight. Worrying over an issue does not get the problem solved. Worry and anxiety tend to the release of stress hormones in your body. Rather than worry, pray, believe and take the steps you need to solve the problem. Interested in contributing for She Leads Africa? Click here.
Your Self Care shouldn’t suffer at the expense of Career Excellence – Nnennaya Udochu
Female engineers have been branded to be nerds and unattractive. It is a common belief that female engineers have no sense of style, not feminine enough and probably too strong for the average man. Contrary to this widely held bias, Nnennaya Udochu is a firm believer that female engineers can be trendy, decent, and elegant. Nnennaya’s life and style is full proof that women are going against this bias. As an analog engineer, she doesn’t fit into what you’d typically call your hard hat-wearing engineer. She has held the office of a Professor Faculty in the Mathematics department at the University of Portland, Oregon., and she balances career with self-care. Nnennaya doubles as a fashion blogger and also motivates ladies who fear that taking a career in engineering or any career in STEM (Science Technology Engineering Mathematics) would impede and perhaps limit their chances of a relationship. In this article, she shares her experience in the profession gives her insights on the misconceptions placed on women in STEM. What prompted you to want to become an Engineer? I enjoyed solving a lot of Math problems and enjoyed a particular topic in my physics class, Electromagnetics. It was from that course in Secondary School I decided I wanted to pursue a degree in Electrical Engineering. What setbacks did you experience pursuing this dream? Taking some engineering courses that would make me think, “why me” or “God help me” because I found them very challenging. For example, Thermodynamics and Statics. Aside from those challenges, the fear of self-doubt. Sometimes, just believing in yourself regardless of what people think goes a long way. I remember being in a study group where we were discussing our prospective first jobs and I said Microsoft or any Fortune 500 company. The whole group burst out laughing but today here I am staying in the course of what I want for myself. Did you have a hard time proving your credibility to your male lectures/superiors? Yes, I did most of the time. It took a lot of hard work and proving myself but I would always let the quality of my work delivery speak volume. Once you’re very knowledgeable about your expertise and firm about making decisions, it would be difficult for anyone to question your abilities in the workforce. Females in #STEM tend to recline to the background whenever leadership or academic roles are called for. Was this your experience? No this isn’t my experience. I am very tenacious in the pursuit of leadership or academic roles in my career; certainly not shying away from it. I’ve been fortunate enough to have been an Adjunct Professor at the University of Portland, Oregon and I’m continuously getting mentored by senior leaders in my industry. As an Analog Engineer, what does your typical workday look like? My workdays are very busy and a lot of critical thinking is involved. Every day I am faced with new challenges on addressing power issues and honestly, everything I learned in Physics II (especially applied principles of electromagnetics) are applied from day to day. Basically, I am mentally tasked each day. You are also an Instagram blogger. Tell us about your journey. The journey so far has been great! I continue to curate content on my platform to inspire people across the world through my travel shots, beauty, hair and showcasing different fashion looks ranging from street style to guest inspired looks at a wedding. I’ve collaborated with brands such as Pitusa, Chi Chi London, Res Ipsa, Palmers, Victoria Emerson just to mention a few and my work has been featured on various Instagram and media platforms. The most exciting experience I’ve had from my journey so far was being privileged to have featured on a fashion segment on Fox News (Fox12 Oregon) discussing the latest Fall fashion trends in 2018. In your opinion why do you think women in #STEM do not take self-care as a top priority? I feel it’s because they don’t want to appear unserious for their jobs and have their co-workers not take them seriously in a meeting or on a project. The perception of a woman figure in STEM is always painted wearing dirty clothing, or plain tops and jeans and this have clouded some women’s judgment on how they would like to present themselves. What advice do you have for women starting out in #STEM? Stay persistent and confident in the pursuit of your career goals. Don’t let the presumptions society has about women in STEM be a reason you get discouraged in achieving your career goals. Who you are or aspire to be shouldn’t be limited by someone’s experience. What’s the look on people’s face when you’re all dressed up like a diva and you tell them what you do?. They are always astonished and perplexed. Some make decent remarks like, “Beauty and Brains” while others find the need to argue. Once a co-worker said I was in Finance and I said, “No”. Only for him to turn back around still amazed and say, “I always thought you were in Finance and you were a spoilt brat because of the way you dress”. Between anger and range, I managed to get my emotions in check and simply responded, “For someone educated that is quite shallow of you to say”. Interested in contributing for She Leads Africa? Click here.
Need some zoning out? – 4 quick ways to create mini escapes
An average African woman is strong. There is no argument. Her strength is not basically physical. She is emotional, mentally, psychologically and spiritually strong. Nobody expects her to need an escape, once in a while. Naturally, mental health or exhaustion is mostly not discussed in Africa (we are improving but not yet). Nobody likes to be labeled “abnormal” or “possessed” due to being bi-polar, depressed or schizophrenic. It always baffles me when I say I am mentally tired and people ask “how?”. Some even go ahead to suggest that I might be possessed. LolMental health and wellbeing are often overlooked because they are not physical. They do not show up in blood or urine tests, neither do they have noticeable symptoms. Therefore, we sometimes see it as a shameful thing and never admit that as women, wives, employees, employers, business owners, we need some escape space. Truth is, whether you are a working-class woman or you own a business, There are moments when you want to forget everything and have a brief respite, escape. Regardless of your state or status, there comes a time in everyone’s life when we just want to drop the reins and unravel in peace for a little while. We might not all get enough time for a long respite but, in-between the day, we can steal bits of escapes to help us power through the day. I have over the years developed quick escape spaces that help me zone out at times when I get overwhelmed. Here are some of them: Music The power of music cannot be overemphasized. There have been more times when I get overwhelmed with the work on my desk and the work waiting for me back home (i run a business too). Right there on my desk, I plug in my earphones, sit back for 2 minutes and listen to something. My go-to choices are slow blues or classical music. Beethoven’s is a staple. It gives me a little reprieve and escapes. Little is enough BOOKS I have loved sappy romance novels from when I was 8 years old. It took me a while to understand that they provided an escape for me. Right now as I type, I have an appointment with one chapter of a sappy romance novel. It is a long day. Old Movies I cannot count the number of days I have gotten home, work on my business and snuggle under the blankets for an old movie. I mostly end up falling asleep most time, but for a while, the whole world falls away. Me time Me time means different things to different persons. It could be an alone moment with your thoughts or a 2-minute cup of tea. There are long “me times|’ and short ones. It could be savoring a piece of chocolate while at your desk or a reasonable drink after work. Personally, I take snatches of “me time” whenever I can. Just me. No work, No business. In this second month of the year, we may have done a lot and still have a whole lot to do. However, let us remember it is okay to escape briefly, unwind and revive. Most importantly: Plan your dream vacation and work towards it. Take your mental health seriously. Interested in contributing for She Leads Africa? Click here.
Busy yet fit: The urban woman’s guide to staying fit in a fast paced world
I guess congratulations are in order as it seems I found the title of my first book above! ? Okay, jokes apart, it’s a new year and while I’m not really one who makes resolutions at the beginning of the year, I believe that the feeling of newness that comes with the season can help us re-route to living better in all areas. As a wife and mom who runs more than one gig (even though one is a fitness center), I find it really hard to stick with a specific routine when it comes to exercise and I’m sure I’m not alone. Lord knows the hustle is real right? True! But on the other hand, it’s only when we are in good health that the hustle can really make sense. So I’m going to share 3 ways you can fit in exercise into your busy schedule. 1. Treat it as an appointment: Yes, when you intentionally prioritize your health and wellness, you will set out time to do what you need to do. I set alarms to exercise at night because that’s when it’s most convenient for me. Trust me, you don’t need so much time to get your heart pumping and your muscles warm. You can start with as little as 10 minutes and increase it when you can. My company recently launched a product, Fitfam exercise games™ cards that encourages busy people like you to exercise anytime, anywhere and have fun while at it. 2. Make more active choices: I know the “take the stairs not the elevator” rhyme sounds cliché, but it’s true. If you are too busy to hit the gym, the best you can do is to deliberately make active choices throughout the day. Take the stairs, ditch the intercom and the intranet if possible and walk to your colleague’s desk to make that inquiry. If you run a business, try to move around your office or shop too, don’t be the madam who just sits on the chair directing everyone else around. 3. Don’t dwell on it too much: Am I contradicting myself? No. Here’s what I mean. Sometimes we dwell so much on failure, we refuse to move forward. You missed two days of exercise, okay. Move on and don’t miss the third. You gorged down half a box of pizza and 3 sparkling glasses on Friday night, not good but can we just move on with a salad and grilled chicken on Saturday morning? I hope these 3 tips will help you get more active this year as we get set to smash those money and life goals. Interested in contributing for She Leads Africa? Click here.
The Deep Rations of a Mental War: How It Affects You and Your Career
[bctt tweet=”Triggers are not always pulled, some are attended to by planting seeds where the soil has no intention to grow or build – @go_itse.” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] As a content creator or simply a writer, you would think that the only thing that one has to deal with is pen and paper. The conception of an idea and putting it to paper, and then once you’re done, it defines you. However, we tend to forget that our career or business is a journey. If at any point you find yourself thinking of quitting, changing the name/industry of your business or switching careers and starting afresh, remember these points coined from The Art of War. Discovering The author of The Art of War, Sun Tzu, would say, “ Earth comprises distances, great and small; danger and security, open ground and narrow passes, the chances of life and death.” Mental health, depression as most would relate to, takes us to the depths of fighting between small and great distances, vis-à-vis, that we would want to take ourselves to, especially with our business and career goals, with the same breath try to balance it all with the personal ones. And what I’ve learned and still I’m still learning is that it brings great danger than security. Allowing narrow passes over open grounds, bringing about confusion and a high risk of certain aspects of your career lying dormant. In Point 21 of Laying Plans, Tzu explains, “If he is secure at all points, be prepared for him. If he is in superior strength, evade him.” In as much as we take the detriment of mental health as sickness, it is more psychological as it is. The more we allow the elements to grow greater than our will to succeed, the more we are aligned to derail. To evade is an individual mystery, which is aligned as to how we got there in the first place. As we go through this state in a unique way that in some cases, no mantras can maintain let alone anti-depressants. It is more like trying to evade the police in Need For Speed Most Wanted. Wherein this matter, we are trying to evade the state of being “less wanted” by the essence of life and you’re either marching, running or sinking in the art of war with your mind. [bctt tweet=”The best thing about knowing and acknowledging the state of our own mental health is through self-mastery – @Go_Itse ” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Uncovering “When you engage in actual fighting, if victory is long in coming, then men’s weapons will grow dull and their ardor will be damped. If you lay siege to a town, you will exhaust your strength. On the other hand, the proximity of an army causes prices to go up; and high prices cause the people’s substance to be drained away.” – Waging War, The Art of War. Defining what we go through as a mental illness whereas it’s a result of unattended life aspects that stack up, cause friction and then the heat goes to the head. That’s when we start to wonder why life sucks and then the idea of being stuck sucks life away from that which we love. From managing people, careers to a detrimental state of not being able to manage the major key to all, ourselves. A high price to pay that I learned by the means of losing a job, as you couldn’t talk to anyone. You see yourself as the go-to person and the happy-go-lucky person with a great beautiful smile. Failing to deliver on time and lack of communication were the failures derived from this state. [bctt tweet=”We define what we go through as a mental illness whereas it’s a result of unattended life aspects that stack up, cause friction and then the heat goes to the head – @go_itse” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] Recovery ”If equally matched, we can offer battle, if slightly inferior in numbers, we can avoid the enemy, if quite an equal in every way, we can flee from him” – Attack by Stratagem, The Art of War. Triggers are not always pulled, some are attended to by planting seeds where the soil has no intention to grow or build. The energy it takes for an attack or a relapse to occur, (as some deal with it well enough to know the triggers and some don’t), requires one to have an equal or greater strength as the infirmity. Be it consistency in therapy (talking, writing etc.), yoga, meditation or exercising. Trying to avoid such a state can be easy at an early stage by doing the most with therapy and other forms of it, from someone who discovered at a very early age. Mastery ”One may know how to conquer without being able to do it.” – Tactical Disposition, The Art of War. We may read all the self-help books to gain knowledge on how to break through an anxiety/depression state. But the will of the author of the book and of another individual may not correspond. The best thing about knowing and acknowledging the state of our own mental health is through self-mastery. From that point of perspective and execution will we be able to master other things, even when there are triggers. Then we can become effective motherland moguls and not be faint-hearted. 5 Take Home Points from The Art of War on Mental Health “Energy may be likened to the bending of a crossbow. A decision, to the releasing of a trigger.” – Energy “Thus one who is skillful at keeping the enemy on the move maintains deceitful appearances, according to which the enemy will act. He sacrifices something that the enemy may snatch at it.” – Energy “By discovering the enemy’s dispositions and remaining invisible ourselves, we can keep our forces concentrated, while the enemy must be divided.” – The Weak Point and Strong ”So in war, the way to avoid what is strong and to strike at what is weak.” –
Entrepreneurs…Take care of your mental health: Here’s why
I remember the first time I met him at a friend’s house. He was incredibly smart, charismatic and passionate—all the things I believed it took to own a successful business. As the night when on, I realized my original assumption was correct. I pulled out my phone and did a quick search of the guy that had caught my interest—not in a romantic way, but in an intriguing “I’m fascinated by you” kind of way. He was the real deal. According to his digital footprint, he’d been in local and national media, he had thousands of followers on social media, and his business was a real business—systems, staff, and everything. I was impressed. Wary of coming across as odd, or romantically interested, I resolved to secretly follow his business ventures from that day on. Imagine my shock, when, only a year after our meeting, I came across a press release that he was going out of business. I read the contents of the press release, and I was dumbfounded. It went into great detail about his frustration with the lack of support, the personal financial difficulties he’d had to endure, the debt he went into for the sake to maintain his business, and the toll all of it had taken on his mental health. He was tired, and he was closing shop and taking some time for himself. At 32 years old, he was moving back in with his parents and going to figure out his next move. There, in an open letter for the world to read, he bravely committed to doing what many entrepreneurs are never taught to do—take care of self first. [bctt tweet=”Self-management is one of the most critical skills for successful entrepreneurship. It’s something that no school or book can teach you completely- @andrena_sawyer” username=”SheLeadsAfrica”] The truth is, it is incumbent on you, as an entrepreneur, to get a hold of your emotions, triggers, and mental health, because, at the end, the stresses of entrepreneurship and seeming failure has led some to suicide and on the lesser end, it may lead some to avoidable (and unavoidable) depressive breakdowns. Whether it’s due to the notorious end of the year burnout, or the hustle and bustle of peak seasons. The bottom line is that you sometimes get to a point where you realize that you simply cannot continue to fake it until you make it. In those moments, it is not your business acumen, the number of followers you have, or even your five-star ratings that will save you. Salvation becomes dependent on two things: your ability to separate self from your work, and how well you’ve developed your self-management skills, which are just as instrumental to your success as any other part of your entrepreneurship journey. During the holiday season, the temptation is always to reflect on the successes and failures of our businesses, adjust and get right back to work for a successful new year. I hope that every entrepreneur adjusts that process slightly and prioritize self-management. Doing so just might save you and your business. Interested in contributing for She Leads Africa? Click here.